This one is for the guys.
It’s short and sweet, but it needs to be said.
I’m surprised how often problems come up regarding Mother’s Day and Father’ Day in high conflict custody cases (even in this midst of litigation, which is even more surprising), but sometimes common sense has a habit of “vanishing” when we get caught up in the ongoing “battle.”
In short, Sunday is a big deal for your child, and you should treat it a such.
You may not like your ex, and she may not like you, but she is the mother of your child and, chances are, your child loves her with all their heart.
Take the high road, and do the right thing.
If it’s not “her day” on the custodial schedule, give it to her. Don't ask for anything in return. Maybe she'll return the gesture one day. Maybe she won't. That's not important right now, so don't make it a negotiation.
If it is her designated day (and it probably is), be on time for the custodial exchange and make sure your child shows up with a gift that YOU took them to pick out.
And while we’re at it, you should do the same thing for mom’s birthday, and for Christmas too.
Ever since my divorce, when my daughter was two (she’s fifteen now), I took her shopping for her mom's gift before the big day. When she was younger, we would often “make” mom’s gift together (even breakfast one year that we packed up in a warmer and drove over to mom's house).
Was it always what I "wanted" to do? No, but that's exactly the point.
We created great memories together, while a clear message was being sent to my daughter that I value her relationship with her mom, even if mom and I don't see eye-to-eye.
Will it always be reciprocated? Nope.
Does it matter? Nope.
I can promise you this, though … your child WILL remember that YOU made them feel good about loving both of their parents.
Does that matter?
More than anything in the world..
Mark DiCiero is the Owner and Founder of Pro Se PROS, LLC. Reach out to Mark at 702.743.3338 or at firstname.lastname@example.org.